Password Phobia

Here’s a new form of anxiety disorder: Password Phobia. It’s a form of anxiety disorder which takes place whenever you are asked to change your password to protect yourself against hackers and others out to steal your identity, money or life. It seems to be happening more these days as the hackers of the world zero in on stealing as much from your virtual world as possible.

The other day I got yet another notice to change a password on one account that I just changed a few months ago. I froze trying to remember my old password. Luckily I write all my passwords down and hide them under my mattress (and I don’t need a password to find them there either). So I changed it once again. I admit running out of passwords I can remember and have trouble remembering ones like snaaxyk2223300ohby. But I managed to make the change, only to discover that what I changed on my laptop now required me to change it on other gadgets like Kindle.

I tell you, I am getting very anxious about knowing how many passwords I have out there and how many are waiting to figure them out and steal my identity. Today I made a list of all my sites and passwords and there were two pages of data.

I’m thinking of consulting a therapist but password phobia specialists are hard to find. I did find one in the phone book who specialized in addictive social media dysfunctions but when I tried to get him the phone message asked me to enter my password.

I am getting to the point of choosing one twenty-seven word and number password in four languages and eliminating all but three of four sites I really need to use often, then start using snail mail and phone calls again (or even walk to my bank).

It’s me against the world of hackers and marketers and social media consultants, and I have a terrible feeling I can’t win.

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Filed under Foolish, laughter, Philosophy and Ethics, Silliness

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